Real life, online life... coping with LIFE.

Hey hey!

So I thought I'd follow on from my Instagram story the other day, after it seemed to be so well received!
I had such beautiful messages of support - people saying thank you, people getting things off their chest, not feeling alone, just being reminded that life is more important than social media! It was incredibly overwhelming to receive so many lovely messages.
But it wasn't a sense of self satisfaction from having nice messages sent, it was just nice to know that people didn't feel alone, and that what I had said had helped some people to feel better and less stressed. That if there was stuff people had bottled up lately - they then felt from my post they could message me and discuss it.

For those that missed it, here is a brief summary of what was said -

+ DON'T TAKE SOCIAL MEDIA SO SERIOUSLY!

+ Appreciate the real people around you & spend time with them. 

+ Don't compare yourself to people on social media. It's not real! It's fake!
+ People live 2 lives, I know, I've essentially done it - the social media life and the real life.

+ Don't focus on the number of followers, the number of likes... it's irrelevant!

+ Don't worry about what someone else/other people are doing - JUST. DO. YOU.
+ Everyone is fighting a battle, sometimes just getting out of bed is enough! 

+ Check on the people around you! Ask how they are randomly, let the people around you know you are there for them, anytime, for anything! (We'll discuss this more later...)

Don't worry about the number of followers you have, don't worry about the number of likes you get, don't worry about who is posting what, where etc... we're all guilty of comparing ourselves to others! When we shouldn't!
We all panic that we don't appear to be achieving the same epic stuff we see others doing on Instagram.
I'm guilty in the past of feeling incredibly, low and depressed from seeing some amazing things people have been doing with cars, and feeling like I'm a real under achiever, like I'm not enough, like a failure!
But we all have different opportunities, some earn them, some use who they know rather than what they know, some get lucky, some work incredibly bloody hard! We just can't judge ourselves on other people, because we just don't know.
It's times like that I find I have to step away from social media, before it sucks me in and I feel this horrendous anxiety and panic come over me. Which is silly! It's an app, it's a made up world online essentially. But in times like that, where you feel that low and that consumed in this dark pit of feeling inadequate online - you don't think HOLD UP!!! WHY YOU BEING SILLY?! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE ACHIEVED *insert personal list here* but for me, I've been to Sweden and was the first to shoot the Koenigsegg Regera, I've had a 3 page feature of my Oakley Veyron images in Fast Car magazine, I've driven a Porsche 918, I've shot events in Dubai, I've been to SEMA - but away from cars, I've tackled being bedbound with M.E when I was 16, I battle daily with Fibromyalgia and M.E, I've been a carer for my Dad etc. My point is, there is a lot we can all sit and list personally that we've achieved.

I really do worry about social media and peoples mental welfare. The amount of pressure out there is INSANE!
The pressure to look a certain way, to act a certain way, to achieve everything by what seems like tomorrow, or else you're a failure... It's awful. Things don't just happen overnight! We are all different. We all have our own paths to take. We all have our own journeys. We all have our own battles to tackle.
This is why I said on IG the other day that sometimes, just getting out of bed for some is a win! Because sometimes it is, for some people - if you're battling a mental health condition, just getting out of bed can be a massive achievement. Just as if you have a physical condition and are fortunate enough to be able to get out of bed! It's something you achieved, and it's brilliant.

People are SO judgemental and critical these days, which adds to the pressure of life. I will never understand the people who go out of their way to antagonise someone, or insult, critique, or slate someone purely because they have a personal vendetta against them and usually with no cause, no rhyme or reason!

Just remember to step away from social media now and again, appreciate the people around you. Especially parents and grandparents - because TRUST ME, when they're no longer around, you wish you'd spent every moment possible with them!
But don't forget your friends too, don't just use social media to stay in touch - go and meet up, have a coffee, a meal etc. No phones, sit and communicate. Check on them! Ask if they're okay, ask if they need help or support with anything, LISTEN...
All too often these days we hear about suicide and people not coping, which is truly tragic! It's usually the ones who appear to be larger than life, the ones who seem to check on everyone else - but does anyone ever check on them?!
I've been plunged into those depths, considering the "easy way out" - admittedly, not purely due to social media, but it can definitely add to the negativity in your mind and just make you feel like you're drowning.
If it wasn't for my incredible support network around me, I wouldn't of survived last year. So a massive thank you to my boyfriend, my sister, my best friends, my Mum, and the family at CGO who kept me going. With these guys amazing support, I managed to move house, get a job, resolve old family issues and actually grieve the loss of my Dad (rather than bottle it up!!!) essentially flipping my life round in two weeks!

But just remember to check in on those around you, sometimes it's hard for people to admit they aren't coping but let them know you are there for them, always!

On that note, if anyone ever needs a chat - just drop me a DM. No judgement. No criticism. Just a place to speak if you need it.

Take care

Skully x

REAL GIRL TORQUE - Delayed International Women's Day Post!

Apologies for the delay!
I was meant to do this on the 8th for International Women's Day to match with my Instagram post but I completely forgot!

I've received harsh criticism in the past for my "lack of supporting females in the car world" - which is MASSIVELY wrong.
I grew up reading Vicky Parrott's Autocar road test reviews, watching Sabine Schmitz absolutely annihilating the Ring on Top Gear and throwing around the Ring Taxi, watching old footage of Michele Mouton killing it in Group B rallying, Vicky Butler-Henderson presenting Fifth Gear, keeping up to date with Leena Gade's team (like becoming the first female race engineer to win Le Mans!)
Then recently we have seen Tatiana Calderon get a seat in F1 testing for Alfa Romeo, Amna Al Qubaisi driving in Formula 4 & testing in Formula E, Abbie Eaton making moves on The Grand Tour setting INSANE lap times and racing in numerous series, Aseel Al Hamad became the first female board member of the Saudi Arabian Motor Federation, and celebrated the ban on female drivers in Saudi by doing a parade lap in the Lotus Renault E20 at the 2018 French Grand Prix.
We have Nathalie McGloin the only female tetraplegic racing driver in the world, that works with the FIA and Dare To Be Different (Susie Wolff's initiative to help females in the motor sport world.)
There is also some INCREDIBLE ladies Stateside... Aimee (aka Petrolgirl on IG) has set up and hosts some of America's biggest and best car events, from Exotics on Cannery Row to managing Goldrush Rally and Fuelrun. She is one bad ass lady, and I'm fortunate enough to be invited to join some online groups Aimee has set up for female petrolheads! Then we have Amber, who is really close with Aimee - and it's nice to see two women really empower and inspire one another. Supporting and caring for each other, and promoting one another - backing each other! Anyway, Amber runs GI Automotive. I remember the first pic I saw of her, was working on a Murci (which is the pic I chose on my IWD post) and thought she was so cool! I then found out that Amber has serviced and maintained some of the worlds best cars, based in California. Also based in the US, is Stephanie Cemo who has just announced, on IWD might I add, that she's going to be racing in Super Trofeo this year which is amazing!
DRIFTING! There are some insanely talented women that drift too! We have Tessa Whittock, Michelle Westby and Lozza Hinks off the top of my head... but there are skilled women worldwide in drifting that I've seen online.
But see.... There are SO many incredible females out there - some I'm fortunate to know, some I've been lucky enough to speak to or meet, some I just admire for their determination and skill...
These are women I support and admire, driving for change, to be noticed, to be equal!
Unfortunately with being female in a male dominated industry, it can be tough! But personally, there's always a strange thrill to it. We shouldn't have to be proving ourselves because of our gender - but in some circumstances it happens. In times I've been spoken down to, or doubted, or heard "but you're a girl" there is this thing within me that just always wants to whack out some crazy car knowledge, or technical lingo to shock whichever narcissist has just taken a dig at me cause I'm female.
Things are changing for sure! But there is still a long way to go. We just need to provide that moral support to empower each other.
I've met some incredible females via Instagram - whether they drive amazing cars, or take photos of amazing cars! It's been so cool to meet like minded females and interact! Girls like:
Chloe (@chloxbaldwin) take amazing shots,
Hattie drives amazing cars (@harriet_florence_83)
Monique is one of the coolest ladies I've met, discussing when Fast & Furious came out and how the scene was in the States and how it changed due to that movie etc (@h_monique86)
then we have Women Who Spot, based in India trying to change how women are accepted in India within the car world (@womenwhospot)
(@shamotive) an incredible woman showing what it's like behind the scenes of being a clay model artist at Jaguar!
Katie, a bad ass Essex chick with an epic Cossie and love of old school cool, drivers motors! (@katie_anne_k15cos)
Another Katie (@katieharcus) working at Prestige Restoration, who shared a lovely post on IWD regarding her mum and her influence on Katie's passion for cars.
Helen is a fabulous employee at HR Owen Ferrari with a true passion and knowledge for the brand! I absolutely adore her (@hjwakerley)
Lauren works at BMW, drives a VX220 and posts loads of cars that attend track days! One very cool chick (@laurenscamps)
then the most fashionable car chick on the gram - combining shoes and cars - (@heelsnclutch) such a kind soul too!
I've had some lovely messages to say thank you for showing that it's okay for females to be into cars, it's okay to go do what the boys do with going and taking photos of cars, and people praising me for my knowledge & passion of cars and standing up against guys in this male dominated industry.
So ladies, KEEP GOING! KEEP BEING AWESOME! KEEP COMPETING! KEEP BEING STRONG!

Skully x